The Game Doesn't Change Until You Do

Listen to an expanded conversation between Bart and Sunny around this newsletter:

Level 1: Kids With No Consoles

When we were kids, both of us grew up in homes that had no expendable income. In fact, we probably both had a little less than that. Our parents shopped at high-fashion places like CAL Ranch for the good old $15 Wrangler jeans, the D.I., or other thrift shops for our school clothes. Sunny became famous for having egg salad sandwiches in her lunch every day. Eggs were cheap, after all…especially when you grew up on a farm that had chickens.

Needless to say, neither one of us had the luxury of having a video game console in our homes. That meant every time we went to a friend’s house who owned one, that’s all we wanted to do. Of course, our friend’s parents wanted us to go outside and play, so our gaming time was usually limited to 30 minutes to an hour. Sunny remembers sneaking out into a dark living room with her best friend to play a little midnight Mario Brothers. Two giggly girls playing a game in the middle of the night expectedly resulted in her best friend’s disheveled and a lil’ put-out (if we’re being honest here) Dad to get up at about 2 AM and tell them both in no uncertain terms to get to bed.  

Fast forward to our adult lives, and oddly enough, neither one of us are gamers… except we are. We play, wait for ittttt… the Game of Life.

Except here’s the thing: Life plays almost exactly like a video game. 

Level Up: Gold Stars & Basic Skills

You spawn into a scene (your environment). You start at Level 1 (baby mode). You get gold stars when you brush your teeth without being told, clean your room, or say “thank you” without rolling your eyes. And you unlock a new level of the game every time you master basic skills like walking, talking, or tying your shoes. 

But here’s where it gets really wild, and this is actually the point we are getting to: in real life you don’t just play the game, you are the game. Which means you’ve only got two choices: You’re either playing as the Main Character of your own game…or you’ve defaulted into being an NPC (a non-playable character).

Main Character vs NPC: The Big Choice

If you log onto a video game, the very first thing you do is choose your character. That becomes your avatar. You pick their look, their style, even their name. You hit Start, and suddenly you’re immersed in a world with a mission to accomplish - one you’ve got to figure out before you burn out, crash out, or get wiped out.

And along the way, you’ll notice something: not every character in the game is like yours. If you are playing online with other humans, some are alive, making choices, moving toward a goal. But the rest? They’re NPCs - non-playable characters. They’re stuck in pre-coded loops, repeating the same lines and actions no matter what’s happening around them. They aren’t thinking. They aren’t deciding. They’re just… there.

The same thing happens in real life. 

You can wake up each day and actually play as the Main Character - making choices, rewriting your storylines, unlocking new skills and levels…or you can slip into NPC mode. That’s when you’re just running the same old patterns, coded by your upbringing, your culture, or your past. 

The difference is huge. Main Characters design their lives and play the game full out. NPCs repeat them. They’re nothing more than background noise. They loop the same tired lines, never upgrade, and never get to experience the thrill of unlocking the next level. The real magic only happens when you choose to play.

Gateway Checkpoint: How You’re Showing Up

So let’s break it down across every gateway of life so you can spot whether you’re showing up as a Main Character, or just defaulting to NPC. 

The Body

• NPC: Eats whatever is convenient, runs on fumes, complains about feeling tired, but never changes the pattern. 

• Main Character: Intentionally chooses food, movement, and rest that fuels energy for the mission. Treats the body like a vehicle for the game. 

Mind & Emotions

• NPC: loops the same negative scripts, reacts on autopilot, blames stress and circumstances instead of rewriting them. 

• Main Character: Builds awareness, challenges limiting thoughts, learns emotional mastery, upgrades inner “code.”

Relationships (Love/Social)

• NPC: Plays the same stale role in relationships, avoids conflicts, lets connections drift, or repeats unhealthy dynamics.

• Main Character: Shows up with intention, communicates openly, invests in creating depth and connection.

Money/Career

• NPC: Punches the clock, follows the script, waits for promotions or handouts, never updates or branches out their skills.

• Main Character: Chooses work aligned with purpose, creates value, levels up income like unlocking new worlds.

Legacy/Life Vision

• NPC: Drifts without direction, stays in “side quest” mode forever, leaves no impact when the game ends.

• Main Character: Knows the mission, designs a future, and plays full out to build something bigger than themselves. 

Your One Run: Make It Count

At the end of the day, life isn’t a demo version you can simply restart. It’s the one run you get! You can spend it looping the background code (walking in circles like an NPC, waiting for someone else to push Start)...

Or you can pick up the controller, choose your avatar, and play like the Main Character you were designed to be. The levels are waiting. The gold stars are waiting. The next breakthrough and unlock is waiting. 

The only question left is: are you playing full out, or are you letting the game play you? 

Life Updates:

• Xander had a band concert last night and it was…. epic! He also played in a sax quartet: tenor, alto, soprano, and baritone. He was the alto… he had a ripping high solo and he nailed it like a boss!

• This weekend we have a nephew’s high school graduation party. So crazy how fast time goes! We also got invited to a birthday party where we are told there will be karaoke going down!

• Little Dally went to the groomer and gave her a run for her money! We brush him and give him baths somewhat regularly, but he hasn’t been to a groomer for quite awhile. He HATES having his paws messed with and she had to muzzle him to try to trim his nails. THEN he pooped on her table and stepped in it after she had given him a bath… so back to the bath he went!

• Sunny’s Dad was in town last week so her two sisters, her Dad, her niece, and an old high school friend (who was also our family band’s drummer all through high school) got together and had a little jam session.

• We subbed in a pickleball league last Thursday…. it was fun!

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