Listen to an expanded conversation between Bart and Sunny around this newsletter:
We’ve all been sold the same story (all fingers pointing at us, too). To scale your business, to reach the next level of impact and income, you just need an unbreakable mindset. You need to think bigger, be more disciplined, and outwork everyone. The entire personal development industry is built on this single premise: your mind is an engine, and if you polish it enough, it will take you anywhere you want to go.
But what if that’s only 50% of the equation? What if the very engine you’re using to scale is simultaneously draining the secret fuel source you need for the next level? What if your relentless focus on mindset is the very thing creating the creative blocks, the relational disconnect, and the soul-crushing exhaustion you feel?
It’s time we talked about the second engine.
The Illusion of the Second Engine
Let’s be clear: your mindset is critical. The architecture of your thoughts, your identity, and your belief systems is the primary engine of your success. It’s what gets you out of bed in the morning and pushes you through the inevitable challenges of entrepreneurship. We are champions of this work. But mindset alone is not enough.
There is a second, hidden engine that most high-achievers have been taught to ignore, suppress, or even demonize: your erotic energy.
And no, we’re not just talking about sex. Erotic energy, in the way we define it in Gateway X (part of our We Play Full Out Life Mastermind), is your life force. It is the raw, untamed energy of creation, desire, play, and the capacity to feel fully, incandescently alive. It’s the “why” behind the “what.”
Think of it this way: your mindset is the powerful, precision-engineered engine of a race car. But your erotic energy is the high-octane fuel. You can have the best engine in the world, but if you’re running on low-grade, watered-down fuel, you’ll never reach your top speed. You’ll just hit your engine’s capacity and wonder why you’re not going faster.
The CEO vs. The Muse
The core conflict for almost every entrepreneur we work with is a battle between two internal archetypes: the CEO and the Muse.
The CEO is the part of you that is rewarded by the world. It’s the hyper-logical, goal-oriented, problem-solving mindset that builds funnels, manages teams, and closes deals. It lives on spreadsheets and thrives on data.
The Muse is the part of you that is the source of your genius. It’s the free-flowing, non-linear, sensation-based energy of your erotic nature. It lives in the realm of the senses and thrives on play, connection, and unstructured time.
You can’t put desire on a spreadsheet. You can’t A/B test seduction. The moment you try to manage your life force, you kill it.
When you are in “CEO mode” 24/7, you are inadvertently starving your Muse. The result isn’t just a lackluster sex life; it’s a lackluster everything. It shows up as creative blocks, feeling “flat” or disconnected despite your success, and a partnership that feels more like a business merger than a love affair. Your life starts to lose its color.
The Nervous System: The Bridge Where Both Engines Meet
So how are these two seemingly separate forces (your logical mind and your erotic energy) connected? The answer is the single most important system in your body: your nervous system.
Your nervous system is the bridge. It regulates both your Identity (Mind) and your Pleasure Capacity (Gateway X). And it has one primary job: to keep you safe by keeping you in the familiar.
We’ve talked before about your nervous system having a thermostat for income. But it also has a thermostat for pleasure, intimacy, and aliveness. And here’s the critical insight most people miss: your nervous system doesn’t differentiate between the “threat” of a new of income and the “threat” of a new level of intimacy or pleasure. It just registers a deviation from the familiar baseline and tries to pull you back to what it knows as “safe.”
This is why the entrepreneur who procrastinates on a million-dollar opportunity is often the same person who can’t relax into non-goal-oriented touch. It’s the same protective mechanism at play. Your body is brilliant at keeping you in the identity it knows, and if that identity is “hard-working, productive, and slightly stressed,” it will sabotage anything—a big financial win or a moment of deep, surrendered pleasure—that threatens to change that story.
The Vicious vs. The Virtuous Cycle
This brings every entrepreneur to a crossroads, a choice between two very different paths.
The Vicious Cycle (The Default Path):
This is the path of the single engine. You over-focus on mindset and work, neglecting your erotic energy. Your creative fuel depletes, life feels dull, and work becomes a slog. In an attempt to fix this, you double down on what you know: you try to “achieve” your way out of the emptiness. The result is inevitable: burnout, disconnection from your partner and your purpose, and a hard plateau in your business.
The Virtuous Cycle (The Default Path):
This is the path of the two engines. You intentionally cultivate your erotic energy by prioritizing non-goal-oriented pleasure, play, and deep connection. Your life force increases, making you feel more alive, creative, and inspired. This expanded energy naturally fuels a more expansive mindset; your identity grows to include “powerful AND playful.”
Business becomes an act of joyful creation, not a grind. The result is sustainable scaling, a passionate partnership, and a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
The Playbook: 3 Practices to Fuel Both Engines
This isn’t about adding more to your to-do list. It’s about integrating these two engines so they work in harmony.
The "State Change" Ritual. Create a non-negotiable 10-minute transition between your "CEO Mindset" and your "Partner/Lover Presence." When you walk through the door at the end of the day, you are crossing a threshold. For these 10 minutes, there are no phones and no business talk. It could be specific music, a short meditation, or simply taking 10 deep breaths while making eye contact with your partner. The goal is to consciously and deliberately switch your energetic state.
Schedule "Input" Before "Output.” Before you do your most important creative or strategic work (Output), schedule one act of pure, non-productive pleasure (Input). This could be savoring a cup of coffee without your phone, listening to one song that makes you feel something, stretching your body, or even a 5-minute self-pleasure practice. This trains your nervous system to understand a new, powerful truth: pleasure is the prerequisite for peak performance, not the reward for it.
The Weekly “Energy Audit” with Your Partner. Go beyond the logistics of who’s picking up the kids. This is a weekly check-in to ask two simple questions: "Where did we feel most connected and alive this week?" and "Where did we feel the most disconnected or drained?" This isn’t about fixing problems in the moment. It’s about bringing awareness to the energetic dynamics in your relationship, which are a direct reflection of the creative fuel available for your life and business. It makes the invisible, visible.
Stop trying to scale your business with a half-dead battery. The path to your next level isn’t just in your head; it’s in your body. It’s in your connection. It’s in your willingness to feel fully, unapologetically alive.
That’s how you truly play full out.
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